Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
