everyone is single if you try hard enough
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
