I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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