How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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