Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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