Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
