That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
