Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
