i already hear my dad disowning me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
