No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
