her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
