her vagine was all disorganized.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
