you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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