I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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