we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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