don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
