He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
