So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
