He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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