i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
