Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize