Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
