So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
