this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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