first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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