I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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