i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
