listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
