Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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