but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
