My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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