After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
