Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
