lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm like, not good at living.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize