Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
