well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
