WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
