Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
