Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
