Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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