It was confusing and full of hummus
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
