dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
