you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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