I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Randomize
