You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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