We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
