I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
