Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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