you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
