I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
