The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
