literally had 100 drinks last night.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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