miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
