this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
