I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
