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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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