I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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