Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize